Mai seems to be the most guilt-ridden person of her group of orphan companions. The way Mai thinks of herself, her goals and accomplishments, intelligence, and her over all good fortune seems to make her withdraw into herself even more. Most likely this distance she has created for herself is due to feeling like she does not measure up to the expectations of being an adoptee. Mai's anxiety is all self-induced because she assumes that her foster parents don't love or care for her as she thinks they would a child of their own flesh and blood.
Among the Babylift orphans that are followed in the collection of Aimee Phan's stories, Kim, Vinh, and Mai, Mai was the only one who was fortunate enough to be fostered, and by a good couple. She has security, affection, and doesn't really have many things to worry about -- other than paying for college, which she doesn't feel secured enough to ask her foster parents for help. Again, these small obstacles are all self-inflicted by Mai on herself, and they could all be answered if she felt like she could communicate with her foster parents. Due to this confusion and sense of not belonging, Mai has not yet found happiness and peace within herself and with the family she has gained.
Mai also seems to be struggling with her own image. She feels like she is lacking in physical beauty when compared to Kim, who is often praised for her beauty. These comments seem to bother Mai, and whenever she compares herself to Kim, Mai feels less worthy of her good luck in being adopted. Mai only sees the negatives which she believes she possesses, and because of these believed flaws, everything she thinks she shouldn't have is reinforced. Every insecurity Mai feels appears to be the root of her insecurities, which strengthens her doubt, worthiness, and belonging.
By Selene G.
This is a really accurate analysis of Mai's personality and insecurities. You made a really good point about Mai's different circumstances in her upbringing, and how her family was devoted to her but because they didn't formally adopt her she created these self-inflicted doubts. Her struggle with her image in comparison to Kim's was something I hadn't really focused on, but does contribute to Mai's character of constantly striving for approval from others.
ReplyDeleteBy Julia G.
Hi Selene,
ReplyDeleteI liked how you brought up Mai's displaced sense of worth. I would agree that her struggle to communicate her concerns and insecurities stems from guilt -- for having a home and a monetary allowance that allowed her to complete high school in comfort while her friend, Kim, from the same orphanage did not. You made an interesting point that her lack in sense of self-worth is translated into her perception of her body image. It seems that this is a very human tendency – to blame our physical qualities for the struggles in our mental ones, perhaps because they are more controllable. I would have found it interesting for the author to elaborate more on Mai’s thought processes around this. Despite having the financial support from a foster system, I would argue that Mai's internal struggle with her Vietnamese American identity is every bit as difficult emotionally as the other characters' presented by the author.
- Kristinah K.
I agree Mai is the most guilt-ridden from the other characters, but I think this is due to the fact that she expresses these insecurities. All the other characters, like Mai, want to belong; they want to be rooted in a family. But, they all express this want in different ways. Mai just wants a family--not necessarily, blood relatives. Unlike Kim and Vinh who place importance to blood family. They all feel guilty, but they all express it in different ways, which makes Mai seem like the one who feels the most guilt.
ReplyDeleteBy Dania T.
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ReplyDeleteI agree that Mai is the most guilt-ridden character in the short stories. I also think that her guilt comes from not feeling full accepted by anyone and her insecurities. She feels like her foster parents don't accept they don't adopt her which makes her feel unwanted. However, when she expresses her guilt to her friends, they tell her she should feel grateful. With Kim, she doesn't feel accepted because she thinks Kim doesn't think she's "Vietnamese" enough or she didn't have a childhood as bad as Kim. As readers, we know Kim sees Mai as a sister, but Mai feels unaccepted by Kim and feels guilty for having a good foster family and leaving her behind to go to college. Much of Mai's guilt comes from feeling like she doesn't belong to any group and not having a relationship with her foster sibling or her foster parents.
ReplyDeleteBy Christina R.
Your view of Mai is really interesting. I always believed that even though she was fostered by a very generous couple, that this might in many ways contribute to her insecurities and attachment issues. However, I believe Mai channels her emotions into creating a future in order to gain the stability in her life that she so desperately desires. Indeed, her insecurities do get the best of her and her inability to communicate with her foster parents. I can't imagine the level of agony she must experience though to be sheltered and cared for physically but not truly loved by her foster parents. Or it is possible that they love her its just not a possessive, selfish kind of love which she desires in order to feel whole ( though not possible).
ReplyDeleteIt seems her life on the road may even be a metaphor for her attempt to find a place where she feels she finally belongs.